Feeling Lost, What It Means and How to Turn it Around
I don't know what to do with my life. I have no self-confidence. I'm afraid I'll be a failure. Is it too late to change my life?
I hear this from many of my clients. I too have felt this way a few times in my life and it has always been when my life was in the middle of an important transition and I was afraid of the changes that transition would bring.
You feel lost but the underlying reason for that feeling was either fear or insecurity. Fear of the discomfort of not knowing, fear of change, fear of facing something new and unfamiliar. Insecurity about your choice of career, partner, job, etc.
“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”
~Henry David Thoreau
It's ok to feel lost. It's not comfortable or pleasant, but it's normal. I was a late bloomer in life. I found my passion and my career late. I fell in love late. I found my dream job late. Do you know why? Because I felt LOST. So let's get down to business and get you out of this discomfort zone. And the best way to overcome this feeling is to take action.
There's one great thing about feeling lost: it's a great opportunity to find your path, to get some insight into your passions, skills, and desires for your lifestyle and your future.
Sit down with pen and paper and try to pinpoint what you're afraid of. Be absolutely honest, nobody is going to see your notes. Are you afraid of starting a career or a new job? Are you scared of living on your own? Is it that you think you'll never find the "right" partner in life?
You're going to make a list. The list should include Hard skills - abilities you were taught that can be measured - such as writing, reading, math or using computer programs. Soft skills are, for example, being tactful, patient, being a good communicator, a good listener, good with people.
All the subjects you enjoyed and/or were good at in school.
All the things you're good at now.
Ask friends and family to describe you. Extract all the words they use to describe you (kind, lazy, talkative, creative, etc.).
This inventory you've just carried out should give you some insight into:
a) what career or job you'd be best suited for.
b) skills you may not have even considered as such.
c) the way people view you and how that may be having an effect on your personal or professional life.
d) what you'd like your future to look like.
But above all, remember that you're not alone. You're certainly not the only person feeling this way and you don't have to go through this alone. You can get help from a life coach, a therapist or a support group. And if you’d like to work with me on getting unstuck, get in touch with me through the “contact” menu of the website and we’ll discuss.